Interview 22

NAME: CARRIE DORAN: https://carriedoran.wordpress.com/

JOB TITLE: PARKS AND RECREATION COORDINATOR/LOCAL GOVERNMENT

STATUS: MARRIED

HOBBIES/INTERESTS: SPIRITUALITY, NATURE, MUSIC, CRAFTING, PIANO, 

                                            READING/WRITING

 

MiMi: How many children do you have and what are their names and ages?

Carrie: I have one child who just recently turned 6. His name is Conner!

MiMi:  What are some of the struggles you face as a working mom? How have you been able to cope with these challenges?

Carrie: As a working mom; At times life feels like you’re practicing a juggling act for the Circus! Except you can’t make a mistake while you’re practicing because someone is always watching, mimicking and learning from your every move. There are so many demands and expectations put on women, in general. Those demands tend to weigh heavy and bring feelings of shame or guilt when you’re trying to figure out the perfect balance of taking care of yourself and raising a productive and loving little human. This is one struggle that I’ve had since day one and continue to learn and develop as I grow…  As a working mother– you constantly go back and forth from feeling guilty for not being at work and engaged like everyone else and simultaneously feeling guilty you’re away from your beloved baby.  I have to be very intentional with my self-dialogue so that I don’t get caught up in the fear, the negative thoughts that will tell me: “I’m not at home enough, I’m working too much or I wasn’t present enough, didn’t play enough with him today….”. Last, there is the struggle of comparing your own parenting to everyone around you.  I was only 21 when I had my child so as a young mom, my first struggle was this internal battle that I created where I felt I needed to be great at everything. The Pinterest Mom, Cooking Mom, Clean Mom, Organized Mom, Fun Mom, Working Mom, Happy Mom, etc. etc. etc. This was a large part of what transpired into a self-love and self-discovery journey. Thank goodness I’ve overcome the last one. I realized that motherhood is a community of support, not something I needed to create a challenge. There are enough of those in life already… right?

MiMi: Do you feel the roles of women have changed over the years, in regards to working outside the home? How so?

Carrie: Oh my, yes! I believe we are in a beautiful period where women are actually supported if they choose to be an entrepreneur, president, a stay at home mom, a construction worker, etc.  The roles of women began to change decades ago as we know, but I feel humbled and so motivated to know that the world I live in today, where I get to raise my child, is a world where femininity finally is recognized for its beauty,  and power in the world. All the leading ladies who walked before me generations ago started this movement and it’s an exciting time in life to see the hard work finally pay off. Traditional family roles are no longer traditional— at least where I come from, and that’s what I love most about the change!

MiMi: What activities do you like to engage in with your family when you find the time?

Carrie: My family and I are big fans of nature. If the weather permits, we love to hike or take adventures to somewhere new. We usually spend time together in the pool, at a park or spending time with a nearby family. Love and connection mean the most to me so I’m glad the little things seem to suffice for them as well– at least for now!

MiMi: If you could offer just 1 piece of advice to a mother who finds it difficult to work outside the home and take care of family, what would it be?

Carrie:  I think it’s really important that women, specifically working mothers, feel confident and courageous for all the accomplishments and sacrifices they make, daily. We are the healers for so many people, but who heals us? Taking moments to “be kind to our mind” is always my favorite mantra when things seem to be a tad bit out of control. You can do many things, but one person can’t possibly do everything so be patient, kind and loving towards yourself (it’s also demonstrating some of the best lessons about self-love to our littles). Equally important is remembering that our children can become our teachers too. They’ll teach us to listen better, become more present, patient and they’ll continue to push you to be stronger and more resilient than you ever realized you had in you. Go with the flow, do the best you can and enjoy the passing moments; you’re doing great mama!

A WORD FROM CARRIE DORAN

“Behind every young child who believes in themselves is a parent who believed first” is a quote that stuck with me because it reminds me that when I’m totally failing because I forgot to add his favorites in his lunch before school or when I felt like the worst mom ever because I had to have a babysitter pick him up after Karate so I could attend a mandatory meeting at work– I remember that quote which instantly reminds me of the most important thing I want to teach my child. To me, it’s more important in the end that I make small sacrifices and uncomfortable feelings in order to support him while he builds what he values. To me, I want my child to feel loved, know how to love and more than anything– love in himself. I want him to never lose his authentic self and cave to society’s expectations. So maybe when it’s one of those bad days for you too, remember what’s most important to you. You were called to do this and nobody believes in you more than that little one who lights up at the sound of your voice. A love that nothing could ever explain nor compare too.

Grateful I got to share a chapter from my personal journey through Motherhood with you. It’s been a while since I’ve sat back and reflected on this parenting stuff–have you done that recently? It gets me a little emotional because it’s just the highest of relationships that radiate sheer love and happiness. Sending each of you gals the absolute best! & a shoutout to the sisters and besties that help hold us mothers up. You’re the MVP.

Thanks, MiMi! What a wonderful idea. An exercise I should try more often for personal development.

MiMi: Thank you Carrie, it has been my pleasure!

 

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